Why Waiting Feels Safer in a Domestic Violence Situation — But Isn’t

Written By Casey Tuggle

“I know it’s not okay, but leaving feels even scarier than staying.”

It’s a sentence I’ve heard more times than I can count.

If you’re in a domestic violence situation, that thought might feel like a lifeline — a way to keep the peace just a little bit longer. As a family law attorney, I want to tell you this: you’re not weak for thinking it. You’re human. And you’re not alone.

Why “Waiting It Out” Feels Safer

Abuse isn’t just bruises and broken things. It’s the quiet calculations:

  • Will this set them off?

  • Should I just stay quiet?

  • What if leaving makes everything worse?

When your nervous system is constantly in fight-or-flight mode, familiarity (even if it’s painful) can feel safer than the unknown. This is especially true if your abuser has convinced you that no one will believe you, that you’ll lose your children, or that you can’t survive without them.

But here’s what’s harder to see from inside the fog: waiting often escalates the risk. The longer the pattern continues, the more it tends to intensify — emotionally, physically, financially. The most dangerous time for someone in an abusive relationship is often when they start taking steps to leave.

That’s why having a safety plan — and a team — matters.


You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

At The Law Office of Casey Tuggle, we help survivors navigate the legal process with clarity and compassion. Whether you need a protective order or guidance through custody concerns, our team stands with you every step of the way.

We know the fears:

  • Will the court believe me?

  • Can I protect my kids?

  • How do I afford this?

And we know the answers — because we’ve helped so many people like you find them. 

What You Can Do Today

If you’re not ready to leave yet — that’s okay. Start by gathering information and creating a support system. Here are a few steps to consider:

  1. Create a safety plan — The National Domestic Violence Hotline offers excellent tools for this.

  2. Document incidents — Keep records in a safe place or with someone you trust.

  3. Reach out — Whether to a friend, a counselor, or our team, talking to someone can change everything.

  4. Learn your rights — We offer confidential consultations and can help you understand your legal options.

🔗 Book a confidential consultation with our office

You Deserve Safety. Full Stop.

Domestic violence thrives in silence. It feeds off isolation, confusion, and fear. But the moment you reach out — the moment you let someone in — the cycle starts to break.

You don’t have to be “ready.” You just have to be heard.

And we’re here for that.

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Resources:

Casey Tuggle
Next

The Mental Health Cost of Delaying Action: Why “Staying for Now” Comes at a Price